Ling Lin

Over the years, I have always wondered what would have happened if I had stayed back in China. In looking back, there would be a high chance for me to have been married by now, husband chosen by my parents, with three children and living in the city as a housewife. On the other hand, I could of never finished high school and remained in our tiny village as a farmer to help my family. The question of “what if” is always difficult to answer due to the unlimited outcomes. I can read and speculate about the experiences and hardships of women in china; but to see and live some of their moments. At this point in my life, I have the freedom to choose every step, but I know for the fact that in China I would be limited. This adventure to China would fulfill the connection between my homeland and I; as well as a lifetime chance to see the answer to my “what if”. I would be able to see my parallel life and to step into someone else’s existence that could have been mine.

As we all know, women in all societies from all over the world have similar roles, but in different capacities and degrees. During my journey, I focused on three main factors: the role of a woman, financial stability, and lifestyle. I want to learn about their everyday life, career goals, hardships, aspirations or dreams, and just simply being a women in China. In order to see the differences and allow a better scope of possibilities, I selected few cities that would allow me to encompass interviews with women of different socio-backgrounds, ranging from women that work in fields to corporate businesswoman. In doing this, I would be able to find the reasons why certain women chose the path they do and opportunities that were given to them. In recent surverys conducted by research teams, they found that women have caught up with men in moving to cities for work over the past decade in China. I was ecstatic to hear that some women in China are able to receive rights and opporutnity similar to men. If a woman is giving the chance to have a higher education and access to information like a man, she would not waste her talent and abilities and excel beyond her traditional role.

It has been 20 years since I left the village in China. While growing up, I can’t recall anyone of the female members in my family or nearby neighbors ever question who should do the routine housework and stay home to raise children. As a child, you follow the footsteps of your mother and hope that you have the necessary criteria of being a good housewife. At age of 13, I knew that grandfathers, fathers, uncles and sons were more important than grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and daughters. I was taught to respect and obey my elders. I was taught to care for my mother and father in sickness and old age. Men were seen as superior to women. Men kept the family names and carried on the history. Boys learned their family’ trade and girls learned to manage a household. A woman had to obey her husband and his mother and his father.

The traditional Chinese culture stated that it does not matter if you are rich or poor, you had to obey them. A father plays a strong role in deciding who his daughter was to marry. Poor families sometimes sold their daughters to be servants of the rich. Often only sons could go to school and inherit property. These were the customs and beliefs that were taught to me during my childhood in Chen Dian, a village in the Guangdong Province. Being the eldest daughter in a family of three, I had chores ranging from carrying water from wells to the home and washing clothes in the river in early dawn. Then attend to my siblings, cook, carry human and animal manure to the fields for fertilizer, and help grow and harvest crops whenever it was the right season. I never minded doing my chores, because as the eldest girl in the family these tasks were expected. I was considered a lucky girl since I was allowed to attend school during parts of the day. I have many great memories of my childhood, but very different from the life as a child in the United States.
The cities I visited were Beijing, Shanghai, Shenjun, Guangzhou and the Guangdong Province. These locations were chosen because Beijing is the capital and political center, Shenjun and Guangdong Province are the free zone North of Hong Kong and two of the fastest growing business areas and Shanghai has traditionally been the center of commerce.

When I arrived in Beijing, I was both tired and restless, but very eagar to practice my Chinese with the locals. Because of the time difference, I woke up very early and decided to take a stroll out to the city. Unlike LA traffic, Beijing is not only crowed with cars and bicycles, but the gridlock created havoc at every turn. I started out my day by visiting many of the old residential districts and alleys. Many of them have been turned into high-rise hotels, office buildings, and department stores. One local said that pretty soon many parts of old Beijing will eventually be bought out and demolished to be turned into more new high-rise homes. Despite the many architecturally changes, Beijing will remain to be a dynamic city surrounded by visitors and locals to enjoy the famous historical sites: the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City, the Summer Palace, and all other museums and parks.

My next stop was Tiananmen Square and every direction I turned in the square, young women and men approached me in groups selling souvenirs. After a while, I felt like one of them. I introduced myself to many of the women in the Square and tried to learn more about their backgrounds and stories. Many of them would not converse with me for a long stretch of time due to shyness and discomfort. After two hours of feeling discouraged, I met two Chinese women named Ms. Mei Zhu Luo and Ms. Li Shuang Ma who were chatting with each other in the square. I introduced myself to them and started to have an interesting conversation with the two ladies. I invited them to lunch at a local restaurant, since I was very unfamiliar with the area. I shared with them my experiences with Chinese food in Los Angeles and they introduced me to the traditional ingredients for Peking duck. They both came from middle class families of two and were born in a nearby city. Ms. Luo has a degree in English literature and worked as a school teacher. Ms. Ma completed basic education and was working as a department store clerk. Ms. Luo loves children, but felt that her strong temperament and ambitious personality was not fitting to be a teacher. She has one child and was in transition of looking for another job. As our conversations went on, they told me that Chinese women in the cities tend to be more demanding than before. Traditional arranged marriages are fading, especially in the cities. Women in China today do not see themselves as submissive and obedient, which were traits of a traditional Chinese woman. They believe they could work hard and have their own professional career without sacrificing their femininity.

Although the Western concept of individuality, independence, and personal responsibility were becoming more apparent in Beijing, many still feel that their primary responsibility is to run the home and raise children. Ms Luo and Ms. Ma both worked hard over the years and lived a fugal lifestyle in order to save for the future. The two women planned ahead by having a considerable savings to prepare for a child and to live a more comfortable lifestyle. Most Chinese tend to believe that the success of a woman lies in a well established career and a happy family life, explained Ms. Luo. Therefore, Chinese women spend their lifetime finding a balancing point between the two.

As my days went on, I was not very successful in arranging meetings with local organizations due to time limitations and the lack of responses. Fortunately, I found my candid approach toward women on the streets more effective and interesting. During my three days in Beijing, I met with 20 different women and had meals with 7 out of the group. Many of them were very open and would allow themselves to discuss in-depth conversations while others were not as comfortable. From my observations, women have risen to higher economic status since the economic improvement effort made by the Chinese government in the recent years. Women are able to receive a higher education and be competitive with the men for jobs in areas such as industry, public health, scientific research, technological services, education, and other social organizations.

In the cities, women have made significant contributions to China’s economic reform development. Women have taken active part in management and decision making which resulted in high economic returns for enterprises. A well educated social worker, Mrs. Chin, said to me, “Women from the rural areas of China were also the driving force of recent growth. These women would form groups to start the more labor intensive township enterprises such as farming, traditional handicrafts, knitwear and other women products.” They created high percentage of output value for China and have continued to enhance their own capabilities with limited resources and operating in a highly regulated nation. On my way to the Great Wall, I took a local bus and had interesting conversations with a group of Chinese people from other regions of China and locals from Beijing. They were all discussing about the political and economic changes taking place in China. Some were very proud of the progress China is making, but some expressed concerns about the skyscrapers being built and the loosing of the old city. People were happy about homes with shower and toilet, but some were concerned about high prices and people becoming too materialistic.

When I arrived at the Great Wall, it was truly amazing. It was bigger than I had ever imagined. The path along the top of the wall is not a smooth surface and the steps were very huge. It was a difficult climb to the top. I had to stop many times to take my deep breaths before getting to the viewpoint where it was breathtaking. On the way down, it was more of a challenge for me. I had to cling to the rail and take slow steps down so that I could admire the views. I can not imagine the ancient Chinese soldiers who defended the wall climb up and down these steps every day. Rather than questioning about the Chinese people and the Great wall, I decided to just enjoy this historical site.

I also visited several other small towns near Beijing. I ran into groups of ladies working diligently in art and delicate crafts. I was consumed by their work displayed on the tables. They chuckled shyly at all times during my interviews with them. Their behaviors were much more subservient compared to the women from the cities. They were hired to work 7 days a week at 12 hour shifts. They were allowed to take one vacation day per month. As they started to tell me their monthly wages, my face started turning green and I felt flushed. I would hear stories of third world countries being exploited, but to directly hear about the conditions these women had to work under made me feel a need to share and make others aware that this is truly happening. Despite of all the long hours, one common desire among these women workers is a hope for their children to receive a better education. They were all willing to leave their families and the farm life hoping to make a bit more money in the city. One woman told me in tears, “Although farming allowed her more freedom and more time to attend to her family, the only way to provide for her son’s education is to make more money despite the conditions she had to work under.” Education fees in China have become much more costly and very unaffordable for low and middle income families.

My next stop was Shanghai; the city was exploding with huge new high-rise hotels, offices, apartments, and shopping centers. Some of the developments were more upscale and modern then ones I have seen in the U.S. There is a growing middle class and it seems as though all of them own cars and carried cell phones. This higher quality of living in Shanghai contrasts greatly with other cities. The dominating scene in other areas is the bustling sound of bicycles and pedestrians crammed into the streets trying to reach their destinations. In recent years, Shanghai has progressively done well and residents have very positive outlooks for the city’s growth potential. As a visitor, it's hard not to like Shanghai and having only few days did not give justice to the city. I wanted to see more, maybe on my next trip. My biggest lesson in Shanghai was learning how to cross the street, which required a crowd or else I would never cross. Cars would only slow down, because of the liability concerns with larger groups and some said drivers tend to worry about huge damages to their cars. Another highlight about Shanghai is that it is a shopper's paradise. Bargaining is expected, and if you don’t negotiate for a reasonable price, you are going to pay way too much. For someone like me who enjoys shopping, I found bargaining very tiresome, but it’s a way of life in the fashion districts.
If it was not for the weather, I would not mind staying in Shanghai. Everything was quite westernized, even in the old Shanghai. During my stay in Shanghai, I was able to visit with a family friend’s son who happened to be the owner of a famous club in Fu Xing Park. While touring this park, I noticed many groups of older women resting around the park, chatting, and doing various activities. I approached a few ladies and asked them about the history of this park. They had abundant things to say about their life and Shanghai in general. Later, they shared with me their children’s stories. They first asked for my age and if I were married. Once I gave them my stats, they ask if I was a doctor or a corporate business woman. I said neither and I am a visitor from the United States. They persistently asked me about my private life as though they were conducting the interview. I was not very comfortable and simply said I have not found a right match. They responded “what is a right match?” I felt strange and tried hard to divert the conversation to learn more about their daughters.

A retired doctor named Mrs. Doris Zhang made a statement that a large number of well-educated and well paid female workers prefer to live a single life. She thinks that the younger generation has adopted the Western culture in believing that marital status does not necessarily influence or provide happiness and confidence for women. Ms. Mei Hua Yan, a mid-aged housewife, shared with me that she did not want to be burdened with children. She felt that kids would create inevitable problems for a marriage. I was a bit shocked by these comments from these women. There were seven women in the group and the ages ranged from mid-thirty to sixty eight. They all agreed that a woman with high academic credential or one who appears to be too intelligent tends to run into obstacles in seeking marriage partner. Traditionally, it is true that men have always been held as superior to women, so they often would find women who are intellectually inferior to them. One woman heard the conversation and decided to tell us about a story she heard in the park. One woman was pressuring her daughter to be married and had asked the daughter to falsify her high credentials to a match maker in order to find a husband. Unlike small towns and villages, some women in the cities do not seem to be too concerned with the academic credentials of the men, but the Chinese men are feeling shameful of the difference. I was overwhelmed with some of these stories, but was not too surprised by them either. These ladies were very vocal and educated. They had a different lifestyle while growing up compared to today, but have kept up society’s changes and trends.

I was so enthralled by the conversations and realized I forgot about the time, since the park was closing. The great thing about this park was that it had a night club in it and only invited guests could remain. Since I was visiting, I decided to check out the place after dark. The nightlife in this park was beautiful and peaceful. The rent for this club must cost a fortune to be able to utilize the entire park at night. The ambience in this club was very upscale, since a latte was ten dollars per cup. There was also an entrance fee imposed lately due to a high number of attendees, often under aged youngsters. I found that China does not have an age limit for drinking. Many of the ladies that came with their dates were beautiful and very well dressed. There was a hand full of women that entered the club came with European men. Every waiter and waitress was able to speak some broken English.

I engaged into a conversation with them about women in Shanghai today. Ms. Chelsea Ma came from a well to do family and bluntly said, “I would rather stay single than lower my standards.” She was a person who has always been provided for and felt that she is reluctant to marry any man. A friend of hers named Ms. Ling Xiao Chen challenged Chelsea’s statement. She felt age is a huge barrier. If a woman dedicates her youth to her career and waited until till the age of 30, she is categorized as too ambitious and too old. She felt that sometime lowering some standards is necessary to accommodate the culture. The conversation in the club made me feel like an old maid. I decided to change the topic and ask them about their lifestyles and work. Many of the women do earn high salaries and have made good investments in owning high apartment complexes. All of them felt a strong sense of security and confidence living a single life. Their lifestyles are much more extravagant then many of us have in the United States. The women in Shanghai are very different compared to other Chinese women I’ve met on my trip. They have adopted the Western concept of individuality and independence. Although the culture of China will continue to believe that women’s social status is lower than that of men, but I hope the progress in Shanghai will elevate more women to strive for their sense of freedom. From my observations of women in Shanghai, their thoughts on child bearing are also changing. Many of them plan not to bear children even if they were to marry. Some felt that it was just very costly living in the city for childcare.

Perhaps the most enjoyable and exciting moments during my visit were meeting with few old friends from childhood whom I have not seen for exactly twenty years. I visited their homes and was delighted to invite them as my guests for a meal. We were happy to share our stories and exchange our views on numerous topics. Unlike cities of Beijing and Shanghai, the women I met in the Guangdong province still combat the traditional Chinese role of catering to a male dominated society. As I stated before, a woman's traditional role is centered on the home. Until the one child policy was passed, women were expected to bear many children, the more the better, especially if the children were male. Women were also engaged in spinning, weaving and other domestic affairs. Many of these activities continue today, I witnessed some of these at their homes and through discussions.

The group of ladies I spoke with was around the same age as I; four of them worked for the government and are all subject to the one child policy. Many of them want to have more children, but also felt the constraints of financial struggles. These ladies would work extra hard to provide the best of everything for their child’s education. They are exposed to Western influences, which creates a strong desire to fulfill the tempting lifestyles they view from afar. A lady I met who was from my mom’s generation shared with us that during her time of marriage, her husband had a bicycle to pick her up, had enough money to buy a sewing machine, and a room for them to board. Since China is an ever evolving country, some are able to afford a fancy color TV, refrigerator, central air, and all other electronic items. Like in Shanghai, Beijing, and Guangzhou, many of the families are able to buy cars and high rises or even luxury homes. Women who are married to high officials or business men, they can buy almost any service in China, from personal masseuse to personal shoppers, and maids at very low costs. I visited a local private school in the city of Guangzhou and one of the questions I had for them was the one child policy for government employees, I thought it was a bit invasive to a woman’s freedom of choice. But many accepted the policy and agreed that it is a control factor for China due to large population problems.

Since I had a longer stay in Guangzhou, I had the chance to visit a local sweatshop. In China it would be considered as a normal factory but in the U.S. it would be categorized as a sweat shop. Due to summer humidity and heat, sitting at home was already unbearable for me, but imagine seeing a room filled with young women and men working in old factories under horrible working conditions and packed in like sardines. It was difficult being in the building for 10 minutes, I felt suffocated and had to escape to the manager’s office to take a deep breath under an air conditioned room. The male managers were enjoying their tea in a separate room that was incredibly more comfortable than the sewing area. The short period I was there, it made me realize how first world countries take advantage of cheap labor and exploit others at their need to lower overhead. The young women were recruited from very poor areas, which they lack the knowledge and resources to escape their. A good hand full of the women was sold by their own parents to employers for a lump sum of money. I was told that the women work 7 days a week, a 12 hour day, and have a vacation day once a month. Their food was provided, but the kitchen was right next to the filthy restrooms in a small corridor. As I sat next to them, I felt a bit uncomfortable in knowing that I could not do anything to help these ladies. Since housing is not provided and their average monthly income ranges from 300 Yuan ($40) -$500 Yuan ($65), they would live together in crowded rooms to cut down costs, in order to provide support to their families back at home. Although jobs are being created for women, they only help the Chinese economy and foreign investors. These types of labor intensive jobs will continue to grow due to high demand from both China and foreign corporations. I truly hope business owners will recognize a need to provide the basics for workers and not focus all of their goals on profits. Workers should not have to endure unsafe and unfair working conditions so that corporations and corrupt government officials can gain.

On the following day, I took a two hour train from Guangzhou to Shenjun. I passed a city that used to be the border stop for residents of Hong Kong and China to drop off goods to one another. They were not allowed to cross before, which was the meeting location for my mother and grandmother during the revolution. I could picture in my mind the intensity of each meeting and the difficulty of leaving one another each time they met. When I passed areas in southern China, I would get flash backs of my childhood because I could still remember some roads that were not developed and picture myself in that moment.

I made arrangements with a friend to visit her company, which she co-owns with several others, called Shenjun Trademark Service. Many of the employees in this company are women with very competitive credentials. The employees are given great benefit packages, bonuses, uniforms, and free trips to other countries in Asia twice a year. I was extremely proud and thrilled of her accomplishment as well as the capability to open the paths for other women. For companies to grow and prosper, they need both women and men. I asked her what factors would stop women from advancing into management? She responded with, “China needs to empower women of today and allow them the opportunity to excel beyound the traditional roles, while motivating them to believe in their own abilities. They will eventually build the confidence to achieve a promotion and move to a top management position.”

My next location would be the place that is near and dear to me, my village. On the day of arrival, the humidity outside was unbearable and it did not help being 35 degrees Celsius. With such high temperatures and mosquitoes everywhere in the village, I had to find a nearby hotel to sleep at night with central air. During my first night in the village, I tried to stay with my old aunt, but could not bear it. She felt my discomfort and had asked me to take a tricycle ride to a hotel nearby. If it was not for the heat and mosquitoes, I felt my experience in the village was exceptionally rewarding. I met two special people from my childhood, my two aunts, one 81 and other 100 years old. They reminded me so much of my past and their appreciation for my parents. My 4th aunt who is 81 raised me and my siblings. She lived a difficult life, losing her husband at such a young age and then her two sons due to hunger and the Japanese invasion. As a young widow with one child left, she never remarried and took care of my grandmother, until my grandmother passed away at age of 96. The only role she knows as a woman is to attend to housework and take care of her elders. She is one Aunt I will never forget and can truly say is a “great woman”. Since I am spoiled by American luxuries, it was difficult to feel comfortable in the heat, but my aunt was fearless. She didn’t let anything bother her and could out walk me at her age even in the humidity, which I had to catch my breadth every couple minutes.

Over the next few days, I spent my time visiting nearby villages, schools and attending town meetings. Many of the places I remembered were torn down or remodeled. The villages were closer and smaller than I had remembered as a child. As the day went on, I met so many new faces as well as familiar faces. I was amazed many of them remembered me, but unfortunately I only had a vague memory of them. Everywhere I went, the children followed me and wanted to learn more about my life in the United States. Some asked about if I learned English and do I speak it at home and others would ask me about basketball and college requirements. I was so amazed how much they knew about the United States. All of them seem to be very interested and curious.

Many of the children were very well behaved compare to kids in the city. I met one school teacher who had 6 kids, 3 girls and 3 boys (last two boys were twins). Before she had the twins, she wanted more boys and sent off two of her daughters to another home. The woman and her husband were not financially secure and had to make tough choices. She only had enough money to send her two eldest children to school in the city due to her relatives in the United States sending money back. As a parent, it is difficult to send away your child due to uncontrollable circumstances, but when it is between giving away a son or daughter, in China the obvious is the daughter. There are some that may look down upon her, but it is difficult to judge when one will never understand her situation and desperation.

When I arrived in America, all I could think of was how wonderful it would be live in the land of gold. I had false expectations, as everyone else that steps onto the plane for America. It’s ironic, as I took my trip back to where I was running from, in realizing, it turns out that it is parallel to the place I ran to. I met all types of women and created amazing bonds by sharing experiences that seem very close to my own. Also, I have a tremendous respect for each one of them, because they have survived or even exceeded the life I ran from. I found my “what if” and the answer to that is, there is no such thing, because all I need is my fond memories of China from before and my new ones from now. These memories is what has formed me into the person I can be proud of and be able to lend my voice to the women of China, at the same time, they have lended me their voices in telling their life stories. I have gained an abundance of knowledge from their life lessons. All I can do as a Chinese American now is to learn more about China through visits and educational programs. This trip has had a profound affect on me and reminded me of how fortunate my life has been being in the United States.